YEAR 2018 LIBERTY MOON MISSION
Liberty, this is control.
Requesting lunar orbit status.
Control, this is Liberty. Touch down in t-minus 20 and counting.
Approaching Terminator line.
Roger that. Be advised, radio static on the com.
Roger that. 7-10 plus VGX, landing window is up.
Landing vector approved... Engage the bay.
- Landing is confirmed, Liberty. - Approaching to coordinate Delta.
VGC 7-3-11.
Looking good. Landing vector optimum. Touch down in t-minus 12...
11, 10, 9...
8, 7, 6...
5, 4, 3...
2, 1.
Now lets, uh, drop the banners.
Oh, fu... Must we?
- The Eagle has landed, baby. - Please, keep that fool off the main frequency.
Are you getting a reading there, Sanders?
Mission control, I can confirm vast quantities of Helium-3.
- The reading are stronger this way. - What? You breaking up...
Please be advices you may be nearing meteor shower...
Adjust communicate... frequency...
No fucking way!
Hey, Sand, what you doin' with that thing hopping around over there?
I thought you were supposed to take some photos of me?
- Washington, have you got a visual on... - What was that, Houston?
- Hey, Washington, it's Helium-3. - What?
It's a Helium-3 mine. Get over here!
Hey, there's something over here you need to see!
No! Sanders! Sanders! San...ah!
Oh, God!
Houston, Houston!Son-of-a-bitch. I need to get out of here.
I must be trippin'.
Subtitle upgrade by Szaki based on zathras69's sub.
Sieg Heil, Moon youth führer, Renate Richter.
Heil Hitler.
Boys and girls, please sit down.
Dieter, don't you know where to put your behind?
Miss. Richter, since Mondführer's 65th birthday
te appropriate salute has been "Heil Kortzfleisch!"
You're such an exemplary boy.
Today we'll start with the most unpatriotic language.
It's the language we unfortunately need to know
when we return to those who need our help.
In english now.
Where are we from?
- Siegfried! - The Earth.
And, when did we leave?
- Brunhilda? - 1945.
- And where did we go? - The dark side of the moon.
Brilliant!
Attention! The National Anthem.
- Heil Hitler! - Hitler...
- What's that, Mr. Adler? - A spy from the earth.
I captured him myself.
He seems to he the leader of the shock troops.
Mr. Adler, is this a joke?
I'll be damned!
The White House Washington D. C.
Don't try to play dumb with me.
It was your bad idea to send those idiots to the moon?
- Talk about disaster. - I'm not to be contrarian madam President
but I'm pretty sure it was your idea.
It was my great idea if have they succeeded. Now it's your stupid idea, got it?
I didn't hire you for stupid ideas. I hired you because of your Midas touch.
Now my approval ratings are in the toilet and the election is just weeks...
You dropped the ball, Vivian! You!
Now, I need a miracle. Get me a miracle!
Actually, how was sending those two astronauts to the Moon,
supposed to getting me re-elected? Exactly?
We haven't been to the Moon for 50 years.
One of them was black.
Thought it would look good.
Look good how?
Like I said, one of them was black.
Just think of the opportunity we wasted years ago with that errand boy, Powell, Alan Powell?
- Colin Powell. - That was close.
- And where're you going? - The UN, to do my job.
"The Great Dictator" by Charlie Chaplin.
It's one of the world most famous short films.
Which illustrates in just 10 minutes, his wish that one day, the entire world
that will be held in the great Führer's wise and gentle hands.
- Any questions? - I have a question.
My sweetheart.
Mr. Adler.
In my classroom we are here to strictly formal manner in addressing one another.
To what do we owe the honor of this visit?
Mr. Nachrichten übermittlungs- Oberführer Adler?
We captured an earthling. Your expertise is required.
- What's for lunch today? - Sauerkraut.
Again! Please say that's not true!
Does the Fuhrer eat Sauerkraut 3 times a week as well?
No, no no! I love me some sauerkraut.
And Volkswagen. Huh...Fahrvergnügen.
Hey! German words, right?
You know, it's as if, where I come from we speak German too. You know what I'm sayin'?
Damn! You gonna be sorry you did that white boy.
Capture him! No! Capture him!
Do not shoot!
The fugitive is a male negro, unarmed, but possibly angry.
How does he look like?
Where does he come from? What is he wearing?
How do I look?
Like they say in English...
you are a knock-out.
How do I get out of here?
Thanks lady. Have a nice day.
No, Mr. Subhuman. That is the air lock...
No!
You might wanna... cover up a bit.
All good?
Klaus! Don't shoot. We need him for tests...
No, no, no! I would not do if I was you. Listen to me. Listen to me!
I know a lot of important people. They're very important people.
I even know the President of the United States of America.
Now...if you kill me, then that's just a really fucked-up situation.
You know the president of the United States of the Americas?
- Take him to Dr. Richter's laboratory! - By your command!
Thanks, homie. I talk to you later baby.
Question, what is this apparatus?
Look man, how would I know? I'm just model.
- A model what? Citizen? - No man, a model model.
Damn, what's wrong with you two? Blind or something?
-Shit, I'm pretty. -Are you part of the shock troops
- before the invasion? - Invasion? Man, you all must be tripping?
What is your mission?
Look dude, I just follow the paycheck, you know what I'm saying?
-What is this device? -That's my kick-ass cellphone
-and a computer. -What?
That's not a computer.
This is a computer.
No man. That's ancient history, homie.
Dumb negro.
- He talks nonsense. - It might be a dialect.
- Probable reason is the skin color. - Right.
His brain structure is different from us Aryans.
Let's open up his skull and measure the brain.
No, I need to know why he's here.
You have 24 hours, Doctor.
Otherwise I have to rely on an ancient infallible technique.
Pain.
UNITED WORLD CONFEDERACY, NEW YORK
I am telling you once again.
One moment we received conformation that the ship has landed successfully on the moon.
The next, all communications stopped.
- As though it had simply vanished. - Or you're hiding something from us?
Yeah, we are hiding something on the dark side of the moon.
I still find it very difficult to believe that the entire purpose of the mission
was to promote your president's re-election.
Well believe what you like, we had mere senators spend
hundred-of-million on campaigns to get elected to dog-shit post.
But Mr. Secretary, the expenses involve this time only makes sense
if there was a military purpose.
Okay, let's get this clear.
The United State has no military activity on the Moon.
What about natural resources activity?
We know how the U.S. sometimes mixes the two up.
Is there any chance that you are looking for Helium-3 up there?
Helium-3? You just made that up, didn't you?
That's so silly.
PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN HQ, NY
I assume these are just preliminary idea?
Sir, we have a very small delivery window.
- Sir? - Yes, sir.
Ma'am, and this is all.
Anyone who is not the head of the department, should leave.
You idiots!
You morons! That's an insult to morons.
What is this shit?
I have a meeting with the President of the United fucking States of the America
tomorrow fucking morning!
Not the President of fucking Zambia!
Not the President of the fucking Janitor's Union!
But with the president of the fucking country which you just happen to be living in at the fucking moment!
You pieces of hellacious shit!
What am I supposed to tell her?
That my employees are not intelligent enough,
to be fucking morons?
- Mr. Adler. - Call me Klaus.
- May I? - Of course.
I've come to discuss our legal union.
- Is that a marriage proposal? - There's no need for marriage.
I received the confirmation of the Department of Racial Purity.
Our genetic match is 97%.
How romantic.
Science demands us to unite physically.
It's our destiny to produce perfect offspring for the people.
What about my scientific research?
One day, Renate...
all this will be ours.
But first, I must conquer the Earth.
Wolfgang, that old fart, stands in my way.
In the way of final victory.
The two of us will take on an enormous responsibility.
Your place is, Renate, by my side.
Gentlemen! Battleship Götterdämmerung.
Our miracle weapon that has been under development for 40 years.
The dream of our beloved Führer.
But unfortunately only a dream, until now.
- Please Doctor. - Watch this!
This tiny device
has over a 1000 times more computing power than our biggest computers together.
I engineered this cable
to connect this machine with our main computer.
I call this Universal Systematic Binding USB for short.
This will lift it into the air.
Finally, the Götterdämmerung will fly!
- Yes. - Yes.
You saw it! You saw it with your own eyes!
Mein Führer, please let me return to the Earth.
Let me get more of these devices.
No one has ever returned.
I will return.
We don't have a choice
if we want to prevent an invasion from the Earth.
Are you willing to work with the Führer...
in the name of the fatherland, stand behind the Wehrmacht.
This decision does not resolve all of us ...
Thank you. I thought my ears were gonna bleed.
You're welcome.
May I ask what's your name is?
Washington, James Washington.
- What's yours? - Renate Richter.
It is a pleasure to meet you, Washington.
James Washington.
What's wrong with your skin?
Come on now, please. You have never met a brother before, right?
- No, I'm an only child. - No, no, I didn't mean like that.
I meant a black man.
No, and this continues to confuse me
because you are much blacker when I first encountered you.
Okay girl look, either I'm black or you're blind.
Look, what is going to happen to me?
I mean, what's with this, this guy that keeps sticking needles in me?
- What about that other angry dude? - My father's sticking needles into you?
That's freaking scientist guy? That's your dad?
And what about, you know....?
Mr. Nachrichtenübermittlungs -Oberführer Adler?
-I'm sorry, what? - Klaus Adler.
He's going to be the next fuhrer.
And my husband.
What? You lose a bet or something? I mean....
you are...lucky you.
Actually, lucky him.
- I shouldn't even be here. - You cannot leave me tied up like this.
- Please do me a favor. - What?
- Play a Nazi - And what, if I don't?
- They will eliminate you. - Oh great!
Is there a different radio station?
With the upcoming war ...
- He's back. - Looks good.
This will solve our little problem.
Okay, mini Mengele. Hey man, I don't like the look of this.
I am coming.
Looks very good.
And now we just...
- Why do not you take me with you? - Don't worry, darling.
After I complete my mission, I come back to you.
That's not what I mean. I'm an Earthologist!
I know everything about it. You need me.
You sweet little thing, where do you get all those crazy ideas?
Books, mostly...
and some films.
I shall return triumphant!
- Heil Hitler! - Heil Kortzfleisch!
- Get it through your skull. - Of course, mein Führer.
We have one more ace up our sleeve.
Show him what we have.
Voila, gentlemen!
- Doctor. - Watch closely.
Heil!
Stand up, you fool.
Sieg Heil!
With the prisoner now being one of us, we will go down to Earth.
He will help us to find more telephone computers. We return.
And then get the Götterdämmerung flying.
Oberführer Adler, I hope you've discussed
my return to the Earth.
Something along those lines.
The Reich trusts you.
- Thank you, doctor.Take care of your daughter for me. - Yes.
Sieg Heil!
See you in Valhalla.
UPSTATE, NEW YORK
- You smell that? - No. We don’t have time to waste.
Take me to that president of yours.
What? The President?
Come on man, I thought you want me to take you to Mac store or something.
You said that you would know the President of The United States of the Americas.
Right, of course.
That President.
May I meet this President too?
Renate! What are you doing here?
Hey, Miss. Richter, welcome to my planet.
This is not the place for the mother of the children of the future Führer.
And definitely not the place for a woman.
My place is by my man.
- Get the hell out of my property. - We better get out of here!
Run for it!
New York City
A Volkswagen bus.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Now, hold on there Boss man.
That may not be the sharpest move. Look, look. I'll tell you what.
Let me go talk to the brothers. All right? They know me, you know. I'm one of them.
Are you with me?
Yeah! Yeah! Now you're talking.
All right, now.
Wassup?
- Doesn't he know? - No. He'll be thrilled.
I'm serious. You don't know how good it's to see you all man. It's like...
- little Africa up in this bitch. - Thank you.
Come on people. You all know me. I know you do.
- Washington. - I mean ...
That ain't one of yours, is it? Because...ah, look man.
You ain't got to bring that shit out.
Look man, it's all good. Look, I'm a peace loving brother, man.
Fuck it, man! Yo! Yo!
Are you all right?
Do I fucking look alright to you Miss crazy fucking Nazi?
I mean... What the hell just happen?
You know?
Oh, no mother-effin way!
What did you sick sons-a-bitches do to me?
- I should've told you. - What? That I look like a fucking polar bear?
You know what? You two really, really know how to fuck up a guys Christmas.
Quiet, you fool! What is wrong with you?
We made you Aryan, you're one of us now.
- You should be thanking us. - Thanking you?
What I should have done is let those brother come here with their size 15s
and put a foot so far up in your ass, can taste the toe nails for 2 fucking weeks.
Klaus!
Bring me to your leader, James Washington.
Hey, what the fuck? Excuse me.
Get your fucking hands off me, you mother...
- You can...- Is she your boss? - Yes, she's the big cheese.
- And she knows the president? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. They real tight.
Come on.
You fuckin' animal! Do you know who I am, huh? Do you?
You just kidnapped the wrong woman The wrong fucking woman.
Oh yeah. I hope you're having a good time I'm gonna kick your fucking ass.
Excellent.
My turn.
I am Commander Klaus Adler of the 4th Reich We are based on the Moon.
I'm told you know the president of the United States of the Americas.
You will take us to that the President, because ...
- I have a very special present for him. - Him?
Well he'll love that. He just loves presents.
As soon as my mission is accomplished
Nazi invading forces will be called in under my directions
and we will end the good times for the bad people.
And just how do you propose to do that?
- We will simply eliminate them. - What?
- Sorry, that is not what we were told... - Renate, I do not think that you...
Yeah. Why not?
Why don't you tell this fräulein why we're here, just like you keep telling your pupils.
I would love to do that.
You see...
the National Socialist Party is the people's party, nothing more.
We wish to return to Earth with our message of peace and unity
love through virtue.
And kindness, for example.
We are healthy, in mind and body.
Our spirits are brave and true.
We achieved that because we are strong, disciplined in our cause.
There is simply no belief that can match ours...
because peace and unity is the gift that we bring to all mankind.
- What you and all earthlings need to know ... - Yeah, yeah. I get it.
This is good.
This is gonna work.
You, I need.
And you...
I want.
Alright, let's go meet the president.
Madam President ...
here is the miracle you asked for.
- Who is this man? - He will lead the campaign troops.
Renate, please...
It's very simple.
The world is sick...
and we are the doctors.
The world has anemic and we are the vitamin.
The world is weary, but we are the strength.
We are here to make the world healthy once again.
With hard work...
with honesty, with clarity, with decency.
We are the product of loving mothers and brave fathers.
We are the embodiment of love and bravery.
We are the gift of both God and science.
We are the answer to the question.
We are the promise delivered to all mankind.
For that we raise our hand, to one nation.
We step to the beat of one drum
We march to the beat of one heart on this world.
We are the people who will carry the children on our shoulders.
In the same way as our fathers carried us and their fathers before them.
We are the one people united and strong.
We are the one people with certainty. Moral certainty.
We are invincible and we have no fear.
Because the truth makes us one.
THREE MONTHS LATER
The moon Nazis are coming. What's wrong with you people, can't you see?
Look, I've been there. I'm telling you.
They have all this moon base, they got this whole like space thing goin' on, and they comin' to take over.
Oh, you never listen to this right? Listen now 'cause they comin, they comin'.
They coming to get us all. Why aren't you guys listening to me? I mean...
Renate.
Washington. James Washington.
- I'm so glad to see you alive. - Is that you?
Yeah!
Look I got one! This is the bitch that made me white as a fuckin' snowflake.
Come on people, help me!
Help me!
I saved your life.
So, you're a formerly dead, black model...
who is now suddenly a living white hobo
after spending a weekend on the Moon. Is that correct?
- Yes, that's correct. - Huh, so I was listening.
And you're Neil Armstrong after his sex change operation. Is this correct?
No, that is not correct. You were not listening at all.
My name is Richter. Renate Richter.
I tried to save this man's life and I think he's stupid, childish and ungrateful.
Okay. Ask Miss. Moon-Nazi here, was I, or was I not on the dark side of the Moon.
Yes, Mr. James Washington was on the dark side of the Moon.
There, what did I tell you.
I am black, but now I'm white. I went to the dark side of the moon, but I'm now back.
And the Nazis are coming to kill us all.
And you guys are gonna so sorry that you didn't listened to me.
Mr. James Washington, why are you so upset? So angry?
- Get lost. - But I don't understand.
I mean...we made you white.
We taught you about National Socialists message, about peace and unity.
You people have robbed me of everything.
My race, my identity, my career.
And I'm beginning to think I am flipping mind too. I mean just everything.
Do you know this?
Yes.
Wonderful.
Come on.
Come on in. I will explain it to you then you'll understand it.
You're a one strange broad. I'll give you that.
You know, you'll pay the popcorn.
125 MINUTES LATER
Man, that was bullshit.
It was...
- It was so long. - Yeah. They coulda edited it down a bit.
He was mocking the Führer.
I'm getting a sense there's a lot about Nazis you don't know.
- But I am a Nazi. - Yeah, I know but you are not like...
Well like them. A bunch of stupid bullies.
No, I'm sure they're good boys
and loyal to the Reich, and their mothers.
Look, they are wearing the symbol of love.
- The swastika? - Yeah.
I have never heard they call it that before.
No, no, no! No, no, no!
- Good evening, boys. - What have we there?
What we got here, blond hair, blue eyes, nice rack.
Even Hitler would get a hard-on.
- I got this. Look guys, we don't want any trouble. - Why don't you get lost hobo.
Look, I got the funniest story to tell you. Your not gonna believe this...
Stop that, that is enough.
What she needs is a good war.
A war always make the president popular.
Well, I might be able to help her out there.
How do you mean?
One word from me, and the invasion from the Moon begins.
- You never break character do you? - No.
I can never be broken.
- You smell so good. - The time has come.
I will show you my plans.
Come back here.
Look, look. I've mapped out some things.
Oh, big fella.
All work and no play?
Now listen, do you think if I asphyxiate the president...
will the troops stand in line with us?
When I order the moon invasion.
it will be quietless bloodshed
After I eliminate the Moon Führer, of course.
Klaus Adler.
Heil Hitler!
You name's not 'Hitler!
So Klaus, is the clown joining us?
What, did you all buy tickets?
Okay, so, do you want to introduce me to your friends?
Get your hooks off me you crystal noob piece-of-shit!
I can make this worth your while. Just please let me go.
Do it, Moon Corporal.
And you want to eliminate the Mondführer?
Do you know the penalty for high treason?
This is flagship Siegfried speaking.
We've reached the orbit and we're ready for the Valkyries to start.
Battleship Heinrich ready for attack.
Battleship Biterolf ready for attack.
- The fleet is ready, mein Führer. - Excellent.
They have to wait for my return.
We shall then begin the Meteorblitzkrieg.
We'll wipe all these sub-humans...
off the face of the Earth.
Klaus!
I need to tell you that I have nothing to do with you or your plans.
You Nazi-piece-of-shit.
Oh well. A blessing in disguise.
Now I can kill all the enemies of the Reich in one stroke.
Farewell, puppet Führer.
He fell for the old one last blow job offer.
God, nazis are stupid.
I commend you on your marksmanship.
Shame. She was such a nice girl Just have to kill her later.
So, it was real?
- All this time. - Never doubt a Nazi, schöne fräulein.
Farwell, fashionista.
I have a planet to conquer.
I will just grab this.
Bye!
Good luck with the rest of your life.
Unbe-fucking-lievable.
They develop like ordinary women. But look.
Here, no hair, no hair. Like little girls.
And when they do have hair, it looks like...
the mustache of our great Führer.
The pictures kind of turn me on.
Sieg Heil!
Mr. Adler.
Where is the Führer?
The Führer is dead. Long live the new Führer.
That's me, in case you're wondering.
Sieg Heil!
This way.
Klaus!
Heil Hitler!
From now on, of course it is "Heil Adler".
Time is
the sin.
I'll see you in Valhalla.
At 5.45 we'll start firing back.
Every bomb will be retaliated.
The Meteorblitzkrieg shall begin!
Thank you, Kelly. Moments ago New York has been under attack.
Witness claim to have seen hundred of UFO's appearing suddenly over the city and opening fire.
Billy get that! Get that! Are you getting that?
Kelly, the craft is at least 60 feet across.
I'm seeing what appears to be weapons of some-kind dangling down from the bottom.
Oh my God! It's opening fire! It's opening fire!
I'm getting the hell out of here.
There is little information. But here's what we know at this time.
- Ok you see the thing is, that Klaus... - I know it was you doing.
- It's wonderful. - It's wonderful?
It's brilliant. I'm a wartime president now.
All presidents who start a war in their first term
always get re-elected, I thought, I was gonna have to bomb Australia or something.
But no, you bring me real...
- Who are these guys anyway? - Nazis.
- From the moon. - Real life Nazis?
Holy shit, this just keeps getting better and better.
You are a miracle worker babe.
They are the only guys we ever actually managed to beat in a fair fight?
I'm just like Franklin D. Roosevelt. Only, you know, I'm not spastic.
I knew you would be excited.
So, if you’re our Roosevelt, then who's your General Patton or you know, MacArthur?
Mr Secretary of Defense, do you have any thought on this?
Send her.
- Me? - Hey you're the miracle worker.
Apparently you dodge bullets too.
- I wouldn't know... - What to wear? You will think of something, you always do.
Madam President...
ready to face the music?
It's the space Nazis!
Take us upstate. We need to go back to the Moon.
We? No, no, no! See? We rhymes with me.
- And ain't going. - Than, you don't get it!
They have the Götterdämmerung on the Moon.
I don't give a damn what they have.
- I'm not going back, to that place. No way! - You want to look like that for the rest of your life?
Great, now this is my fault.
- Let me in. - I am no hero, James.
I need you.
Do you know how to drive this thing?
Well can't be any different than playing 'wing commander'
Let's try...
I swear we do not have nothing on the Moon.
- Japan? - It is not ours.
- China? - It is not us.
It's bloody well not ours.
- I confess. - Yes, North Korea? Confess to what?
The spaceships are ours.
Our beloved leader designed and build it himself.
- What's so funny? - All right, North Korea. Sit down.
- So, it was you India, I knew that. - No, no! This is a sign of peace.
- This is the sign of peace. - Just cut it out, you morons!
These thugs are Nazis and I mean the real, McCoy.
They have been hiding on the Moon just waiting to pounce.
My question is, what do you all planning to do about it?
'Cause we just happen to have a little something up our own sleeve.
And I'm sure that you'll be thankful for it.
May I present to you with the Mars exploration ship, The USS George W. Bush.
Good work, take it to Officer Tyler, please.
This is trajectory, what's our status on the orbit window?
Commander on deck.
The hostile fleet has launched a full scale aerial attack against the United States.
These Zeppelins appear to be carriers and they are operating fully within the thermosphere.
Each of them approximately carrying 200 enemy vessels, and are extremely...
Hell hath no fury, Heir Adler.
Alright kiddies, let's get this show on the road.
Vivian, you look great. How is it going up there?
Madam President, I couldn't be better.
I am packing dozens of mega tons of nuclear warheads
which I am going to carefully place up Klaus's kraut ass.
- Just as soon I get him in my sight. - Carry on, kick butt.
Let's see what that baby can do!
Working at optimum capacity. Ammo consumption within tolerance.
We're coming under extremely heavy fire. We gonna need reinforcement right now.
What the hell is the meaning of this?
Good day mates. This is Australian ship, Dundee 01. Ready to kick ass.
Spitfire reporting in.
Hanging in there W. Canada joining the battle.
This is a direct violation of this nations space treaty that
you all signed, every single one of you.
MIR is ready to join the battle.
That was supposed to be destroyed.
This is an outrage, you're all liars, just like my ex ex-husband.
- Calm down lady, calm down. - Don't you lady me, Pinko.
Okay, who didn't armed their spaceship?
Great, great. That's just great
- You all gave me your word. - But you broke yours.
We always break ours, that's just what we do.
Okay, fine, fine, fine!
Let just beat shit out of these pricks and talk about the details later.
Heroes of the First Fleet,
continue your attack to the last man
and remember you're fighting for the Reich!
Where the hell did they come from?
Prepare an appropriate uniform for the Führer.
The Fatherland is calling its children!
This device will complete the biggest war machine of all times.
- The Götterdämmerung will fly! - Heil Adler!
This is beautiful.
- Where the hell are we going? - To the Götterdämmerung.
I think Klaus will be there.
What did you think of that? Adler?
Alright, what about this Moon business?
What do you say we head on over and slap them around a bit?
Klaus, baby I'm coming to get to get ya'.
Attention!
Heil Adler!
Heil!
As you were.
Well?
The Earth fleet will be within firing range in 20 minutes.
- Are your troops ready? - We're waiting for Dr. Richter.
- What the hell is this place? - This is the Götterdämmerung.
It will liberate the Earth.
Actually,
it is the biggest war machine ever created by man.
- This is the bridge. There's where I'm going. - I need to find your father, so...
- Where do you think he at? - I think you will find him over there.
Try to sneak in, and please paralyze the engines.
- Or otherwise the earth is destroyed. - Note to self, paralyze the engines. Got it.
- Oh. No, no no no. - What? - You be careful.
- I mean you know... - What?
- Because you like me. - Right...
Oh, come on, a little. I mean...
You like me?
We have a visual on the Nazi fortress, commander.
Obvious and overstated as usually,Klaus.
Alright, everyone, let's get those nukes in action.
- I'm declaring this fortress a free-fire-zone. - But Commander,there are woman and children down there.
The United States of America does not negotiate with terrorists.
- Prime warhead on secondary armament. - Roger that.
- Prepare all available ordinance for ground bombardment.- Fire the fucking nukes!
Nukes away.
Job well done!
Move!
Who dares disturb me?
Dr. Richter!
- How much time do you need? - The Götterdämmerung will fly.
It will be ready for the final victory.
Cut the crap. How long?
Let's say three months, give or take a little.
Maybe a little earlier, maybe later.
You have three minutes.
He cut me off. It's not that easy. Russia wasn't conquered in a day...
Hey, quack!
You remember me?
No.
The Moon spook you turn into a snowflake.
Start the Helium-3 engines.
Now!
Start the engines.
Oh shit, it's alive
He sure must have the smallest dick in the universe.
Load the cannons.
Time...
to fuck back.
Everyone, take positions around this fat phallus
and wait for my command to open fire.
- Offensive run confirmed. - Let her rip.
Shit!
- Are the cannon ready to fire? - They are.
But the Earth is below the horizon, on the other side of the Moon.
We can't shoot.
Full moon was yesterday.
Let's make a brand new horizon.
Fire at will.
What the fuck?
Reactivate the system. Weapons sergeant.
We'll see...
The projectiles of Götterdämmerung are made out of metallic hydrogen.
it's aggregate state can only be reached under immense pressure...
National Anthem. For motivation, break glass.
The impact can be quite diverse.
It's no time to sing now!
It's a false alarm!
Are you all imbeciles? Go and see what's going on!
On the double!
- Renate. - I won't let you do it.
What will you do? Shoot me?
Good girl...
Renate Richter, my bride-to-be.
You destroyed something beautiful, something wonderful.
A future world full of Aryan children.
Our Aryan children!
But you betrayed me, and for that you shall pay.
Your beauty should adorn/ decorate Odin's table.
- Klaus! Wait! Let me say something. - Now?
- I'm a bit busy. - I have always respected you.
As Führer,
and as a man.
I've even loved you.
I belong to you.
To you.
Cute little speech.
But it is too late, my dear. Goodbye.
I understand. I heil you.
My Klaus.
Sieg Heil, my Führer.
- Washington, do you hear me? Washington? - Where are you?
- You need to shut down the engine - I'm working on it.
Shit...
Congratulations.
High five.
Well, that was disappointing.
Do you think he suffered? Even just a little?
Vivian, I knew you could do it. You're foxy and salacious, all the way. Congratulations.
- What's Helium-3? - Helium.
Did you say Helium-3?
Yes, there is like about 15 to 20 giant towers that appear to be full of this stuff.
- That's ours. - It is? Why?
Helium-3, will make the U.S. independent of all energy needs for next thousand years.
Yes, it is ours.
No, no no. Hear me out. Hear me out.
The moon is American soil. Moon flag, stars and stripes.
Who beat the Moon Nazis? We did.
Well, yeah yeah, alright, you help out here and there, but ultimately it's just like World War II ...
and who won that? We did.
- You lie. - You don't believe me?
Watch the movie. Movies do not lie.
Not the shoes, Jesus.
Vivian, this is the Secretary of Defense.
- Defend Helium-3 at all costs. - But against who?
Against everybody!
Please don't, never again!
Please stop.
What was the Earth like?
Different.
When can we go there?
Soon. Soon...
- But how? - In peace.
Unfortunately that's the story of revenge. It's messy.
Never really works out the way you wanted to.
I feel lonely.
The eternal love of God, the love of God into our hearts, or we will burn...
burn in hell, burning in eternal damnation.
Renate.
Washington.
You are alive.
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
And you're the way you meant to be.
Are you aware that you are kissing a black man?
I guess you have a lot of work cut out for you.
Subtitle upgraded by Szaki based on zathras69's sub.